Yay for you! In between perfecting your Instagram aesthetic and mastering the art of the perfect nose highlight, you somehow managed to get enough A-levels to get yourself to uni. Even though you could’ve sworn you requested the best halls of residence your uni has to offer… you’ve arrived to a single bed, sh*tty curtains and a bathroom that looks like a scene out of The Shining. Not exactly a boudoir built for a Becky. But don’t worry, we’re here to sort you out with a fool-proof guide to help you spruce up your dingy little dorm room, and turn it into the place of your dreams.
STEP 1: ASSESS THE SITUATION
How much space do you have? What are you actually ALLOWED to do? Unfortunately, most uni’s don’t allow for the much needed full renovation of their halls ( 9 grand a year and we’re not even allowed to change the f*cking curtains) so check the guidelines of what will and what will not get you in sh*t. Nails in walls are a no at most universities so make sure you’ve got a hoard of sticky hooks and Blu-tac to hang up pictures of your #MEMS
STEP 2: FIND A FOCUS POINT
Will it be your duvet cover? Or an edgy tapestry you definitely didn’t bring back from Thailand on your gap yah. Pick something that represents the personality you’re going to attempt to pretend you have for the whole of freshers and go with it.
STEP 3: PRINT OUT PICTURES
What’s worse than coming to uni with no mates? Arriving at uni and people thinking you have no mates. To avoid the ever present fear in freshers that you’re going to be an absolute loser, make sure your room is covered in pictures of you and your friends from high school (added bonus is you manage to get some of you and muggy Mike after his appearance at Pryzm Kingston.) This way, even if you don’t make any new friends, you’ve given off the impression that you at least had some, at some point anyway.
SIDE NOTE: DON’T attempt to fill your room with positive quote posters. My housemates still like to remind me of the innocent ‘live, laugh, love’ statue I adorned throughout my first year. Unless it’s something sassy, then you hang that sh*t right up.
STEP 4: FAIRY LIGHTS, FAIRY LIGHTS AND MORE FAIRY LIGHTS
Now you’re talking to a Becky that probably needs to go to rehab for her fairy light addiction (and definitely some other things too). But trust me, if you finally manage to get lucky after the baywatch themed freshers finale in Liquid, you won’t want your first moments with someone being supervised by the strip lighting that’s equivalent to walking down a Tesco aisle.
STEP 5: AIR DIFFUSERS (A RESTRICTED BECKY’S ATTEMPT AT CANDLES)
Annoyingly, most uni rooms are fitted with smoke detectors that are so bloody sensitive, your 9am shower will set it off, let alone a tiny candle. (More about learning to cover your smoke detector for other… needs in a later post) It’s honestly as if they are trying to prevent you from creating any form of sensual ambience to lure in those football 1st team rejects. This is when air diffusers become your best friends. Pick something fresh, or musky if you’re going to attempt to trick your girlfriends that boys constantly hang out in your room because you’re just ‘one of the lads’. But trust me, get one. Your two days old pizza boxes from your last night out at Oceana are not going to be the most welcoming smell.
So there you have it, Becky’s guide to making that dorm room a little less like that underground prison A kept the PLL girls in during the whole of season 6.