So you heard it for the first time on Capital while you were driving with your mum and you zoned out of whatever she was ranting about when you heard Dua the queen herself tell you 1. Don’t pick up the phone, you know he’s only calling cos he’s drunk and alone, because it hit you right. In. The. Feels.

Aside from those special cases of Becky’s who have either had Becky confidence down for their whole adolescence and never allowed themselves to be caught by a f*ckboy, most of us giwls (Gemma Collins reference) have been struck. And it can hit you f*cking hard. F*ckboy games can strip you of all the self love and self worth that you ever had, and all of the late night ‘wys’ texts, the forceful ‘Nudes?’ requests, the not wishing you a happy birthday and the talking about how much they love another Becky whilst seeing you can take you down a seriously dark path. This is not a drill. So when New Rules came crashing into the Beckysphere, it was time to say no f*cking more. Not today, Satan, not today. We are so much better than satisfying horny boys’ needs and then not being texted for another week. So as rule number 2 says. Don’t let him in. Cos you will have to kick him out again. You don’t have time for his jäger breath and lack of empathy. If he’s not committing now, he never will, and it’s as simple as that: he’s not worth your time. Becky time is precious.

So DONT be his friend. If he treats you any less than you and your beautiful booty deserve, delete him, block him, read a load of psychology and self help books (they are seriously inspiring, fulfilling, and may give you answers you need) go out with the girls and do not wake up in his bed in the morning. If you’re under him, you ain’t getting over him, but if you remember your worth (you are gold baby, solid gold), distract yourself by building an empire- get a career, make some $, work on your friendships and glow yourself up, you will get over him. You will realise that happiness doesn’t come from a man, it comes from the important things in life: family, friends, f*ck off coffees, Netflix documentaries and Missguided sales. So go to the gym, go on, now, get some endorphins, build that booty and get on with your life. As Cardi B says, u can’t f*ck w me.’

xoxo Becky

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