Every Becky’s been there. We’ve all fallen for them. We’ve all thought they were different. We all thought we could change them. And we were more wrong than wearing crocs and socks out to the library and thinking it’s ‘geek chic’. Fuck boys are the bane of every Becky’s life, but luckily, we’ve made a sure fire list to make sure you can try and run away and keep your worth before you’re bombarded night after night with ‘wys’ texts and the dick pics that no one asked for.
1. DATE OR NO DATE
Let’s propose in this hypothetical situation that you meet your fuck boy on a dating app (Tinder, Bumble, Christians who want love.com… you pick) and the chat’s going good. You’re getting good vibes, you’ve probably already stalked him on every social media back to 2009 and your friends know his mothers maiden name. He proposes a date. The date is Netflix and chill. Do. Not. Go.
2. HE NEVER FOLLOWS UP
So the date of Netflix and chill that you promised all your friends you wouldn’t go on happened. And now you’re keen for more. He mentioned a real date… you even heard words of going out for a drink in public with him. But he hasn’t brought it up again. You’re still talking. But where’s that date gone? After your anxiety drives you insane, you bite the bullet and ask him. He says yeah, but you end up doing all the planning.
3. WHEN YOU BUMP INTO HIM, IT’S AWKWARD
You spent all night watching re-runs of Friends on Netflix and things even got a bit heated when you watched the ‘Rachel and Ross night at the museum’ scene. But you bump into him the next day in the library. You get a passing ‘Hey’ and a chin nod. Nothing else. …what?
4. HE STILL HITS YOU UP
After being ignored in the library, you still put up those sexy (slutty) snapchat stories of you and the girls preeing for a night out, meant only for him. After you’ve checked for the 18349 time, he’s finally seen it. The blue chat comes up and he’s sent you a 🔥 emoji. You’re on a high. You bump (stalk him around the club until you’re finally drunk enough to accidentally spill your double vodka cranberry on his mate) into him and he hugs you, before explaining that he’ll be right back he’s just going for a smoke.
You don’t see him again the rest of the night.
Until your phone buzzes at 3.21am with the infamous ‘wys’ text.
5. HE LEAVES STRAIGHT AFTER
Because you definitely didn’t answer the ‘wys’ text and definitely didn’t wake up with this boy in your bed, you’re feeling great. He initiates the morning sex and you’re elated that he’s not put off by your fake tanned sheets and morning breath. But then, even quicker than the act itself, he’s off. You’re lying there half naked in bed watching him as he says ‘Yeah I’ve got to run to lectures.. catch you later’.
But alas, he will never, catch you again later.
Be woke ladies.